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The Concept of Sanctuary in Modern Society?

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I have really been busy.  I am working hard to make progress to find a job that I have the training for, and in the meantime, while that’s not happening too quick: to make a job transition into something that actually suits me.  I had an interview with a previous employer today.  I would like the job, but I think we both have mixed feelings.  I hope to find employment that I can not only make money at, but also pursue my goals in education, psychology and mental health.  This would be opposed to finding the same types of work in construction that I have often hated over the last 10+ years.  Big problem with such a transition is: construction (as an electrician), tends to pay pretty well, whereas work in mental health and of course being a student does not pay well.  I have a family.

 

My views about compassion, honesty and psychology tend to be shut down at every corner – especially in construction.  How is it that helping people cope and find wellness will put me deeper in debt?  Why are these jobs – that often are very involved and in extremely high demand today – so poorly paying??

 

ANYWAYS, I saw a really cool poem the other day on this blog site regarding ‘sanctum sanctorum’, which I had just been reading about.  For that matter, I brought the idea of ‘sanctuary’ up in a class that day.  The question in our discussion was ‘What is something that everyone really wants (i.e. to help with mental wellness)?’  I say: ‘sanctuary’.

 

The poem below is from a collection that I have sent out.  The line: ‘Don’t tell me about your desires’ is not directed towards the audience.  Rather it is similar to what the job system and the looming part of society (that might not always be so compassionate)  might say to me.  I’m not complaining about all the individuals that make up society.  I am referring to the system that we are often a part of.  Some of us can rise above, or at least make a niche.  Sometimes we are forced to work on the front lines.   I’m not intentionally comparing myself to a soldier here (That is a position that I have the utmost respect).  The front-line also discusses some blue collar work – and for that matter: any difficult work.   I would offer my views to anyone that it could help.

People are busting themselves up to make ends meet (All inclusive).  I do put my body on the line.  Whine for the day: we have to deal with: Asbestos, dangerous voltages, fiberglass, toxic dust, working at heights, sharp, dirty and toxic materials often everywhere.  Boohoo for me.  Some have it a lot worse.  What I am trying to get at is ways to reduce stress.  If we cannot reduce stress, because we are being hounded and forced to get work done without consideration for mental health, without necessary relax-time and appropriate social treatment – then there is something wrong with the system.   I do have some ideas of how to fair well in this system, but they may not always work.  Mindfulness and developing realistic confidence can help.  Meditation is a way to escape for a while.

This is what I think a lot of us desire:  some form of escape and…. sanctuary.   Sometimes I think that our answers to this quest are unhealthy, partly because of the confines of “the system.”  Often drugs or alcohol are seen as the only escape.   I work and sometimes succeed in finding sanctuary in some places and some states of mind.  Not to say that I don’t have drinks, but I always remember ‘moderation’ and set guidelines like:  just a couple, no earlier than afternoon and not every day.  I would like to think I take a healthy approach.  If I can help others do the same and promote mental stability and wellness – this should also be a rewarding job.  Is this idealistic and ego-centric?  I don’t think so….

This poem does NOT really fit in to describe strategies in mental health, but it does describe how some of us may feel (in our need for sanctuary) and in some relationships.  It might just be way out there, in my personal collection.  I would not include this poem as a therapeutic tool.  Rather it is more for discussion that some of you may appreciate.  I would think that the poem is just a few crazy thoughts that some people can relate to.

 

Sanctuary

 

Every day I have rays of sunshine,

Rain

 

Blissful thoughts

Comforting spots

I want now

To take it all in

 

Deception and correction

Your truth

What it used to be

Changed when I asked

For the truth

 

Take it all in

The meaning and underlying truth

But what it seems to be

Might not be real

I need proof

Now

 

I want proof

Rigid construction

Of reality

Partial prescription

Of sensibility

 

Sometimes derailed

By psychedelic spires

 

Don’t tell me about

Your desires

Everybody wants their

Own perception

 

 

I am not sure just how aptly titled the poem is, but the closing line “Everybody wants their own perception” describes to me, the fact that many of us do really want that sacred personal space, where what we think and perceive is our own, or at least willingly, freely shared.

Sacred Spot

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A Look-Out in Nature:  Perceptions – Free of Stigma and Economy’s Social Trials

When there is absolutely nothing better to do,

I read a book, few of ancient eyes ever knew,

Why sit passively writing past the end of days’ view,

The sky stretched across the city, the snapshot stays true,

The bright shining sphere lights up every page outside,

No one has seen this before – the day’s light has never lied,

This moment waited forever until now to be tried,

Vision reels with the core view – the stigma why I cried,

My perception is not seen, by anyone but me,

Injustice of a few things, are hard for them to see,

With righteous eyes opening, connecting is a key,

My cognition is grinding until the day I’m free,

Yesterday had good hours, now – maybe today too,

Have to keep the world spinning, when worries may seem few,

One moment of comfort falters, and that is one sure cue,

Proving complex points of view, can really take you through,

You see nothing that I claim – my writing seems a bore,

Last verse there’s a challenge that you really can’t ignore,

Just like the convenience you bought from the closest store,

The package seems the same as every one before,

**

After long hours, I reflect on the day…

**

When there is absolutely nothing better to do,

I may seek dark hues aged-fine to help me make it through,

I may play on fields of grass if I start to feel so blue,

The absolute strongest way to live, just known by me and you:

Just to stare at the sky across the country that is bright but grey,

The white clouds have drifted beyond the trees where I lay,

Fly wings, fly – chase distant dreams overlapping the day,

Flocks of birds pass by above, spinning high as I pray,

Eagle circling my prayer of love, shadowed in the seas,

Salty schools of fish spied, I sit in the tops of trees,

Then up to the mountains, where the ancient waters freeze,

Just below, scenic plateau, there is a telling breeze,

The look-out, hidden from economy’s social trials,

My face is not well-known, but is seen by all the miles,

The evolution of this place, the inner ghost it riles,

Nature laughs among itself, the true free-thinker smiles,

As I stop to think, really summon my spirit thought,

I gaze far and wide- imagine each secluded plot,

What will this environment dictate, What else has been taught?

Where, when and how can I rise in life,

as to this sacred spot?

 

I wrote this today about a hike yesterday…. There are a few other meanings involved.  Feel free to ask.

Scientific Dreams

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Hi there.  I wanted to put in a more inspired poem, before I put away my blogging keyboard for a few days.  I wrote this today.  I have recorded a vocal track for it, and will be working on the guitar track this evening.  I hope you enjoy.  I am picturing blues/folk/hard rock.

I’ve got to roll

And I’ve got a soul

And I can’t believe it all anymore

Got to get round

Can’t get down

And I can’t believe it all anymore

Believe in the soul and you will find out all it’s worth,

Found out what it means today – an absolute rebirth,

Believe in the soul and you will find out what it means,

We are all connected in the universal screens, Yup

Chorus:

I’ve got to roll now,

I’ve got a soul now,

And I can believe now that I am up,

Got to get round now,

I can’t get down now,

And I can believe now that I am up,

Wake up into the soul and find out all it’s worth,

Found out what it means awaken an absolute rebirth,

Believing in the soul, yah, and find out what it means,

We are all connected in the scientific dreams, Yah

Chasing the action

That’s just a fraction

Of what is going on at the other side

Now I think it’s true

I’m connected to you

Everything, every one – right inside

(chorus)

dreaming

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Just a last minute thought for the day.

 

Dreaming…

Blue in the face,

From yelling and screaming,

Can anyone hear what I’ve been dreaming?

My eyes are watering from staring at the sun,

The most perfect of circles has caught me undone,

First there is one,

Now there are eight globes streaming,

Can anyone see what I’ve been dreaming?

My body is shaking and its hard to find sleep,

The hill I’ve been climbing is forever steep,

Where is the top?

I look up as angels are teaming,

Can anyone feel what I’ve been dreaming?

I can taste the grit and smell the road’s dirt,

I made a fortune and then lost my shirt,

Not far to go…

The morning fog begins steaming,

Can anyone tell what I’ve been dreaming?

Prometheus’ plea

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Prometheus Rising

Perception may be necessarily true,

Your vision comes first, then I’m after you,

At some times that depends on what you construe,

In parallel I’m perceived first –  we must assume,

Now I have found just what I’m looking for,

Optimism growing and opening your door,

Focusing on time with our face in the screen,

Avoiding turbulence in life if you know what I mean,

A disgruntled soldier faces endless days,

To find a new passage to the happy place,

Smiles on the inside now that it is better,

Fought off suffering when under the weather,

Here’s a slice of heaven to brighten the earth,

What was found in the stars gave creative mirth,

Before climbing to the sun – chained to a rock,

Day tomorrow the same, swear to break the lock,

Eagle eyes my own as my liver’s eaten,

Desires to find the mood has left me beaten,

Mighty Zeus high above: why is it wrong to share?

The fire is finely crafted to make us more aware

I started this poem this weekend (partly inspired by Percy Bysshe Shelley and a supervisor…).  For now I have finished it.  In myth Prometheus stole fire from the sun (metaphor for art) and was punished by Zeus.  In the end, I tie this into the blog below.

It has been drawn to my attention that mindfulness, by convention – is only mindfulness of the present.  Sorry if I have reworked that to include mindfulness of the future and past.   In the traditional definition: focus on breathing, and sensations, without pain – in the present moment is very powerful.  This is a hugely popular and – in fact: ancient strategy.  I do not want to discredit myself or offend anyone by mistreating this important term.

My layman’s take on it is that thinking about or being mindful of other thoughts is also effective to avoid pain or depression.  Maybe I am looking at a homonym for mindfulness that might be defined as: being full of thinking (and productive thinking).  To me thinking about a good time or a future moment of content can take my mind to a better place,  and include planning.  This has been therapeutic for me.  We are all different.  I hope that these ideas help, but I can’t be sure.  When I am doing a tedious job, I often make plans for the future and set goals.  This helps me get by and time seems to move faster.

I guess Prometheus may have been condemned because art may be very unique.  To try to share art (for example: ideas about mindfulness), with the masses – he must appeal to everyone.  That is extremely difficult or impossible.  What appeals – or is therapeutic to one person may be the opposite for someone else.  It seems to be a straight-forward metaphor that art – like fire: can be dangerous in the wrong hands?   I still think that Zeus could go easy on him, especially if Prometheus was able to finally prove that his art had a general utilitarian value.

Thinking in New Ways

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Sometimes it is great to be busy.  Right now is one of those times.

I am an electrician, although currently unemployed!  So I have to find a job.  In the meantime I have been spending all my minutes on the study of psychology and the arts too.  My hours are dedicated to my children.

The short of it is that I have a few moments to blog today.  VERY important moments.

I thought about my last blog, and it is fine to discuss nirvana.  What I missed discussing is the more obvious: Nirvana and the death of Kurt Cobain.  At the other end of the spectrum, and sometimes closely related to ‘nirvana’ is severe depression and suicide.  It has the potential to rob the lives of the people we love – like Kurt.

I believe that the mindfulness that focusses on the present – as well as mindfulness of good memories, potential for good moments in the future, and even fantasy (as I discuss in my last blog) – can help a person with depression.  There is no absolute solution, but education on ‘mindfulness’ is one great avenue for self-management.  In bipolar disorder a person may swing from the height of mania, or even a sense of nirvana – to the lows of depression.  Balance is so important to achieve, and self-management strategies including mindfulness can be the key to success and content.  Other important strategies are: having a balanced, nutritious diet, getting exercise, getting the right amount of sleep, avoiding substance use and taking prescribed medication.  There are many other strategies as well.  One of the key strategies that people with mood disorders use is expression (i.e. in the form of creativity). Even if this is not a ‘strategy’ per se, it is a part of life where people find inspiration. With help: the artistic side can also lead to balance. All the while that people are finding this balance: the rewarding product of music, or visual art is developed and recognized.

As time is limited today, I have drawn on a poem from my past (years ago) to insert here:

Sensible

My future is painted here and there

With brush in hand, I’m taking care

Sometimes my design is so hard to see

Sometimes the easel is so hard to see

Sometimes the painting is so hard to see

My future is painted here and there,

It’s a collaboration – I’m quite aware,

Sometimes the artists are so hard to see

Sometimes my partners are hard to see

Sometimes (my) God is so hard to see

Listen to the sound of the falling rain

Listen to the sound of the passing train

Can you see the bird singing in the trees?

Can you see the leaves caught up in the breeze?

Listen to the wind as the cars pass by

Can you hear the roadside sigh?

My future is waiting here and there

With that in mind, I’m taking care

Sometimes the right way is so hard to see

Sometimes the pathway is so hard to see

Sometimes the road is so hard to see

Watching all the places as I pass by,

Watching all the faces as I pass by,

When will I stop to wander?

Where will I stop I wonder?

Where we stop to wander is very important.  Having a strong social network and company (family, friends) is paramount for me.  Sometimes we are still alone, and this is an important time to have options.  I do what I need to do to get by and find ways to be content.  That means taking time for myself to enjoy creativity.  When the process may start out seeming boring or saddening, I try to focus on the small details, focus on what is interesting and focus on the next moment of content.  Life is a journey.  No destination is final, even if we are stuck in one spot.  When we can think of ways to be content, we can be content.  Even when we are standing still, the journey goes on and there will always be a chance to see the art in it, and to find rewards in what we do.  Thinking is freedom, or thinking in new ways can allow freedom and content.

Mood: Balance through mindfulness

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Painting: Lee Matuga

Ya…  Mindfulness can be a challenge when what you are being forced to do something that is in some way horrible for you.  I hate to think of the different nastiness that a person can go through.  Real pain or disgust is hard to bury with thought, or to escape from just by thinking, but through practice like meditation:  it is possible to some degree.

In this case, I suggest relying on the promise of that ‘cup of water’ to quench thirst, or find some moment of content.  Looking to a conversation with a friend or a view of the mountains, lake or even trees in the big city could help many people. 

Humour is GREAT.  To see the humour in things may in fact outweigh many other types of mindfulness.   If that is not available, sometimes the imagination can be a great get-away:  picturing what we want to picture.  We can reach this through a memory, a potential future or even a fantasy. 

Mindfulness of the present is most often described as the answer, but other forms of mindfulness (eg. A memory, something to look forward to, or a fantasy) can also bridge that time that is difficult to endure. I seems that way to me anyways.

I feel a bit lazy to be drawing on my past lyrics for some of my blogs, but I am making sure to spend time on fresh ones, like yesterday…  This below – was written many years ago.

Mood

Pointing at it, pouring into it,

Biding my time.

Thinking of it, yearning for it,

Biding my time.

Push … Push …No answers, No escape. Where will I go?

Will I ever advance to a thoughtful path?

Quiet decision and Then,

The calm nirvana surrounds my universe.

Permeates my consciousness.

Will I be here for long?  Will it be here for long?

Will I come back soon?  Will I falter?

My world is protected on all sides,

Now.

Calm fulfilling energy, Peaceful train of thoughts travels to different corners of my mind,

Chorus:           The future, the past.

Investigating all that is present, on the journey.

How will it continue?

What is next, and will it be safe?

Stay peaceful, if you are strong, smart and modest enough.

Still peaceful – considerate,

Bold.  Pervasive.  Thirst for knowledge.

Drinking from it, drowning in it,

Biding my time,

Striving for it, Straying from it,

Biding my time,

Reach …   Reach . . . No answers, No release, Where will I go,

Will I ever advance from this thoughtless mood?

Loud intrusion and then

Vile anxiety surrounds my universe,

Permeates my consciousness

Will I be here for long?  Will it be here much longer?

Will I leave here soon?

Will I escape?

My world is closing in on all sides,

Leave Now, Fearful train of thoughts travels to different corners of my mind,

Steam rises of the distant stress, Here we go again- another test.

Chorus

Come take the test.

What is the test?  Maybe balance – the ability to focus: find content.  We all go through it.  Nirvana…  Is it a myth??  A band – Yup.  Part of everyday life for people – I hope so, even for a few moments.   I’m not going to look up the definition.  I just trust that it involves great balance and content.  In this life- I would suggest that if it does exist: for most people it is temporary.  I’m not talking levitating or anything like that.  I’m talking: a cup of water when you’re thirsty, a beautiful sunset, a great conversation, a great tune in a enjoyable environment.  Hmmm…  What else is purely pleasurable?  An A1 mood.  The ability to shut everything negative out through mindfulness?  Enlightenment??  Really??   How complex could it be? I am watering down a very complex and revered concept.  Please add a comment, so I can offer a defense.

Mindfulness till comforted

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When sorrow is pouring down like a torrential sleet,

No shelter, no warmth,

A coat with a broken zipper,

Become the elements.

Become the ice, become the aching water in your shoes,

Become the emptiness.

It does not surround you.  You surround it.  You will outlast it.

In time a ray of warmth will pierce the pain.

For now you are your world,

In time you will be refreshed,

Colours of peace and whispers of comfort

Will soon touch your life,

You cannot ignore them,

As we carry on to the next content moment,

With a cup of water to quench our thirst,

warmth

and a fine light to see by

I have started to take on a course to help people suffering from depression and mania (bipolar disorder).  There are a lot of things to be happy for, but sometimes they are so hard to see- obscured by troubles and the haze of depression.  Sometimes we have had a bad run of luck.  We often have a lot to think about.  Truth is, I am alone right now, and my writings have been inspired by music in the background: Elvis.  Not a fan of Elvis?  I never heard anyone say that before.   Again, this poem is about mindfulness. Mindfulness is a great tool in overcoming boredom.

Calming music?

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I had a few thoughts kicking around from many years ago.  I have changed them around and tried to make them presentable.  My first attempt was not successful.

Similar to a lot of people, I have worked very hard for many years.  Like many others, I have adapted to some difficult challenges in life.  Music has been a major source of inspiration.  Taking time to enjoy the music, comedy, good times – and learn from the drama has enabled me to be calm in a world that I often perceive as crazy.  I also think it has been important to engage in expression that shares these moments with others.  Often I share my thoughts in order to seek understanding.  Beyond that really I hope to help share ideas that promote the health of the community – especially those that have similar experiences.  The poetry connected here is not necessarily the ideal tool for this work – but I feel that I have achieved a good balance here!!

These lyrics have been rearranged and updated to include some ideas of level-headedness, but also written with music in mind – not egotistical but rhyming and even fun…  The matching practical work is really successful.

See you soon.

Awareness

Ya still mess with me,

But I don’t mess with you,

You can tell me what to think,

And you can tell me what to do,

You got the ways that make me crazy,

You got the style that makes me high,

I go off like dynamite and you call that lazy,

But my music literally drives you wild,

I cannot see why you are looking at me,

You’re a god

I’m a god

I’m a god

I’m a frickin fraud,

How can it be if I just glance over:  All of a sudden they start looking?

Did you flinch? Or fake it – or create awareness of your presence?

There’s no wink or acknowledgement of the moment,

Our eyes did not connect

I’m taking it all back

I never meant to be that far below the radar,

Just a pinch to wake me, I am so aware of your presence,

There’s no link to each other without ever knowing,

Our sighs did not impact

I’m chasing it all back

With water from the lake you made me ‘ware of,

I cannot see why you are looking at me,

You’re the bomb

I’m the bomb

Just the bomb

And yet we’re so fricking calm,

How can it be that when chance is over- all of a sudden a new chance rises?

It’s not a mess with me,

Don’t let it mess with you,

I’d like to tell you what to think,

But I won’t tell you what to do,

You got the ways that make me crazy,

You got the style that makes me high,

I go up like dynamite purely amazing,

And the music literally drives you wild

Focus in Mindfulness

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Sunday night… pretty low key.  I’m thinking about some stuff that I wrote about ‘focus.’  It’s a big topic.  It could be like a type of career, or a part of social life.  It could be one song or one word.  In fact it is one word that basically means: “To direct one’s attention to something.”  There are other meanings as well.

So ‘focus’:  that’s like your next meal, relaxation with TV, music –or whatever.  Like something to think about, laugh or sigh or just focus on until there is something else to do (or that needs to be done).  When we can get thru the moment, even by looking forward to seeing a meal, a jam, family, a television show or anything like a focus:  the dull times don’t seem so dull.  I’ve read a lot about this mindfulness- just paying attention to the moment.  I think it helps avoid thinking about things that aren’t as necessary.  Just get into the moment: work, play whatever. When you watch the little details: you can enjoy the moment or at least find the patience you need to get through to the next content moment.  It has really helped me to maintain peace of mind by keeping myself focused on the task at hand, and enjoying the really fine details of what is going on.  Keeping my mind busy – even with something simple like mowing the lawn or listening to some tunes can actually make it easier to just get by.  Picturing the process can help facilitate a productive state of mind in the present, while also being ready for the next sequence of events.

This is a poem that is troubled in some ways, but involves focus on the environment.  It was written over a decade ago.  In the end you will see the return to an ongoing concern.   For many this concern is sobriety.  Others might view this resolution to be a way of avoiding bad weather.  Mindfulness can help with a variety of problems, including:  weathering the storm, and also avoiding substance use.

The poem here….AGAIN… is not really on line with the exact sentiments of the blog, but in the start of this blog page, I decided to put some of my writing with each one of these psychological (and hopefully practical) blogs.  I hope that it is a literature mix that will hold your attention/focus.  By the way, in my life, I have rarely had a drink before noon, and when I have, there would have been a good reason, like holidays, or a recognized celebration…

Hang Ups

In the vast expanse of human society

I explore the experience and taste sobriety,

Then changing a vow, which breaks early in the day,

I come back to where I was, and I’m on my way,

The sun like me is high in the sky

The smoke is rising

The lizard crawls

The waves are crashing,

Like bar room brawls

A reaction is surprising

Saved up money for strip malls

The dollars I’m stashing are enjoyed by all,

In the midday hours the seconds tick by

I walk the streets in hopes the fast cars comply,

I might hail a taxi, but I’d rather walk,

Down the corridor on a bus amidst casual talk

Above cars fuming

The seagull flies,

The traffic is buzzing

Forlorn are the cries,

Dark clouds are looming,

There’s water in the skies,

Umbrellas by the dozens can help keep me dry