Featured post

Common Rarities

So common are the bright colours of life

We don’t even notice their bold beauty

Perched on years as if we can’t fly high

Looking precarious as if it’s our duty

Standing out to show off our difference

Vulnerable to seem too bright

To the sky we may lift up our plans

As the Earth crawls through the night

*

So common are the fine workers of Earth

They don’t even notice our dedication

Squirming for years as if we don’t have a worth

Looking ahead with no hesitation

Fitting in despite all our difference

Vulnerable to be in the light

To the sky we may lift up our plans

And for dreams we patiently fight

*

So rare to get a word in edgewise

Or share a story of what we’re about

Diverse wellness is certainly the best prize

Include health, peace and love without doubt

Together we climb up to new heights

Or dig energy of Earth below

Guided by sure stars and cool nights

A sun ray is free and with calm care we grow

Featured post

No Kind Soul Should Feel Out of Place

From dark to light

I wriggle and writhe

I dig through the earth

To reach up to the skies

With darkness we close

up for the night

Warmth within grows

and dreams hold us tight

Tulips open again

with morning grace

Designed for beauty

Each colour and face

No kind soul should feel out of place

*

From Spring to Fall

I creep and crawl

I fly for my life

My big world seems small

With winter we hide

Climb or hit the wall

Back to the Earth

Fresh wings will haul

Sunlight shines again

With eternal grace

Designed to reach

Every corner and space

No kind soul should feel out of place

*

Soul comes from drive

To be alive

To share and thrive

For Love we strive

*

We must live life together

Care more and save face

Don’t squish our boots

on beauty and kindness

*

With grace we share

All of the Earth

We must leave extra space

For those that have fallen behind us

So that the sky can find us

*

Clear as day and night

What’s wrong and right

We share the earth

We share your light

With bias we choose

Reasons to fight

No resources to lose

So keep kindness in sight

Good sense comes round again

Our human grace

Designed to survive

With wellness keep pace

No kind soul should feel out of place

Featured post

Life is All About You

Time has reached this point

We can never turn back

Convenience shields our eyes from

Atrocity and devastation

From within and around

Certain truths attack

A fair chance to live life well

With warmth and celebration

Many lose their lives in this place

To injustice and

Casual desecration

*

From my perspective

It’s easy to unpack

Convenience to be despised

I try

Reciprocity and appreciation

But within and around

Certain truths attack

A fair chance to share life well

With warmth and celebration

Together we lose true equity

to Injustice with

Demographic suffocation

*

I am no one

To many

But I know about you

I heard what happened to you

Life is about you

*

I am no one new

But I know about you

I hate what’s happening to you

Life is about you

*

In the land you live in

Save your faith and never give in

Push for peace

All around you

It will seem so hard to do

Strive for health

And to be you

Life is all about you

*

If my ways have hurt you

I hope that you have kept track

Convenient are the lies

Oblivious toxicity and

appropriation

From within and around

Certain truths attack

A fair chance to live life loud

With warmth and celebration

Many of us have lost truth in this place

To injustice and

Casual allocation

*

In the land we live in

We must never give in

Push for peace

Far and true

Find hope in what you do

Nurture strength

And be you

Life is all about you

Featured post

Brushing Off Our Dreams

Shaking off our dreams

We cleanse our thoughts in the first morning seconds

Like brushing sand off a seashell

And adding it to our collection

Steamy showers wash away blurred vision

Clean the new day

A pristine treasure

Pure life we find in waking thought

Lucidity emerges

To fulfill our wishes

*

Breaking into scenes

The fierce challenge of each day beckons

Like the test that we have to take

Then we ace it with affection

Rolling waves carry us across oceans

Find the new day

Take good measure

Sink feeling into every thought

Flowing emotion surges

Riding high with calm wishes

*

Soaking in our dreams

Keys to reality from early check-ins

Like calming waves over castles

And our footprints’ resurrection

Streaming life we calmly change the channel

Run a new day

Squishing pleasure

Into boots of bubbles and soothing thought

Washing away anxious urges

Gratitude for sea-sides’ sandy riches

Peace in knowing our own wishes

Featured post

The Truth Surfaces

***

I feel incomplete

Not in defeat

I must confess

I aim to be perfect

as is

*

I don’t stress about it

and though the rest may doubt it

I am always trying for the best

For all intents and purposes

*

The best is calm

Or exciting

Always caring

I hope, delighting and kind

When the truth finally surfaces

*

If I’m in to deep

and I can’t sleep

I must confess

I deal with so much stress

As is

*

I manage anyway

Doesn’t matter what some say

I truly try for the best

For all intents and purposes

*

The best is calm

Yet igniting

Always caring

I hope

inviting

better bests

When the truth finally surfaces

*

Aim for peace and love

Not gross wealth held above us

Restricting freedom and safety

For personal gain

*

No unjust pressure on workers

Encourage instead

Offer provision and care

Don’t leave us for dead

If we can’t produce

and you see us as worthless

*

Has the deal gone to Hell?

How has it? Please tell

You know what to do

And you don’t

*

For faith I will leap

No hill is too steep

I’ve come to expect

The effort is worth it

*

I don’t stress about it

and know I can’t live without it

I really try for the best

For all intents and purposes

*

The best is calm

and providing

Always caring

Surviving

Find peace and love

When the truth finally surfaces

***

Featured post

2020 A (Covid) Christmas Carol

**

Cackling in the back of my penthouse suite closet

What I thought was a skeleton is my potential future-ghost

Shaking for medicine that must be taken now

I would like to pause it

I want a cure most

Will the present mask come off,

Reveal beauty infinite

or will it carve the future

getting so close?

*

Heckled by attendees of a courthouse for my whole life

As the judge beckoned me, I made an offhand boast

Question of sanity must be taken now

I’d like the chance to answer

In the spirit of the host

Will this disaster end

As we adapt to it?

How do we chart the future?

I guess no one knows

**

Then I heard a voice from inside my skull

The others heard it too and then there was a lull

The family carries on

This guy’s hard to the core

“I am right here, who are you looking for?”

The crowd moves away, the calm man was outrageous

“They don’t hear me” and I began to count my pages

*

Sifting through years, memories, goals and plans

Night started early and the moon understands

I sat back in my seat and reflected on the day

The tides of life are changing, plans must get underway

I scrolled and scrolled, “There is nothing here”

I cleared my throat loudly and began to fear

*

In words coming next

too hard to debunk all

Thought it made sense

to call my old uncle

He listens to me

But won’t see the whole story

Who I may need to talk to

is a guy that ain’t sorry

Once a friend of mine

now just seems sinister

May need an exorcist or

Just a Xmas-time minister

*

They said I need faith

and good sanitizer

I keep my chin up

Don a mask and seek advisors

Most I find from my chair

With my hand-held office

And avoid anyone

Who asks what this cough is

I sat and felt stressed

But couldn’t get any bolder

Heard a whisper in the dark

Felt a tap on my shoulder…

*

It was all I could do

To not scream out loud

The past was awakening

Vehemently proud

First thing I thought is

Maybe it was our cat

But he was on the floor beside me

And not at my back

The whistling wind

Turned into a chorus

As I’d fallen asleep

Dreams wouldn’t ignore us

*

“You’re nothing!

A flake,

A washed-up electrician!”

A voice was seething

Up rose his apparition

“Remember those years

When we laughed together?”

“Yes” I said frankly,

“and all the bad weather”

Behind my back

He had laughed and stole love

His face faded in the window

As rain fell from above

**

The cat knocked a vase off our farm-house dining table

When he saw the dark reflection of the passing ghost

Pressure manipulating is forgotten now

I had to catch it

Oh… so close

Will common sense reach him

For safety specific?

We need it for the future

At this time the most

*

Tracking mud from the floor of her doghouse,

Lucy has free reign

Sweet canine has more luxury than she needs

almost

Not much for etiquette

It’s eats at me now

And so I blurt out

What I think we need most

Will we keep good distance

Reveal faith incarnate

Or charge to the future

Getting too close?

**

Then she starts barking and rattles my skull

Neighbours hear it too

It’s inescapable

She follows me inside with no clear boundaries

I go upstairs & hide

“Quiet! Calm down please”

Then we are fine

On the couch just her and me

A quick belly rub

Now she’s nice as can be

*

Sifting thru pages

and trying to share words

Lucy asleep, I hear pure tones, divine birds

Charming racket of a kind crow

for fall leaves we grieve

Cool mood in the room as I

Write and believe

I lay back for a second in my rotating chair

Of an unearthly presence I become aware!

*

Television crackles

My hands on the screen

A voice speaks clearly

Blasts out of a dream

It was the news host talking

directly to me,

“You must help save the world

It’s hurting… come see!”

I see people suffering across the earth

It drags me down

like I’ve lost social worth

*

“You must fight the battle for everyone you know

Save the entire planet and everywhere you go

Don’t sweat the small stuff but carry the whole world

Brace us against the sun and the creeping moon curled!”

I said “I’m trying, I’m doing the best I can!”

“Not good enough

Try harder again”

*

Like the sound of a coin into

wishing-well water

The TV turned off

Fizzled and felt a bit hotter

Blinding light burst

from the face of my phone

Barely pressed the screen

And souls entered my home

My inbox explodes while

Text messages chime

Notifications pile up

I have nothing but time

*

Late bills

Spam and useless subscriptions

Tried to close them fast amid too many encryptions

A sight became present that bolstered my spirit

A message from someone that had read my lyric

Their image appeared on my screen so ephemeral

A fleeting glimpse, like it had it been here at all

**

Clucking in back of our chicken-house bird-palace

What I thought was an odd project are pets we love the most

Waking-up schedule

Much better now

Get up

Let hens out

Fresh eggs for our toast

Will Earth’s cruelty stop?

“Yes” should be implicit

With effort for the future

Kindness that we chose

*

Reeking from heaven to hell

the outhouse of this winter

Seems what we ate is attacking us

as time has quickly froze

Questions of appetite

Don’t feel quite right now

Please unpause

It’s what matters most

Will there be paper or light?

Any privacy?

For others in the future:

Consideration I propose

**

Then faith in my SUV

As I buckled for the store

Elastic scratched my skull

Safety is what it’s for

Driving down the road

Guy clearly saw the sign

Blew right thru it

And crossed the double line

We must be more safe

Follow worthy rules

Then when we look back

We won’t look like true fools

*

I was also rushing

When I was much younger

Time has shifted gears

To a responsible kind of hunger

We all need supplies and food

A reason to go out

No need to be rude

Kindness is all about

We can still be fast

But keep good sense to stay safe

Like wear a brand-new mask

(One that doesn’t chafe)

*

Closing my car door

Walked to get a buggy

For this time of year

It was feeling rather muggy

Clouds seemed to issue

From a parking-lot sewer-grate

Black shadows formed in front of me

And wouldn’t dissipate

In the next moment

Thought I was losing my mind

Soon to be sure of it

A specter was defined

*

The future’s public eyes

Red and burning through me

History of life

Like no one ever knew me

With hands like ravens’ claws

the phantom grabbed my wrist

Dragged me in to the cold wet sky

without my shopping list

Over streets and homes

Across river and valley

Fiend then dropped me off alone

in a cold and dirty alley

*

A puddle on the pavement

Showed my own reflection

Cars splashed by

I jumped back for my protection

The ghoul looked at me

I saw families torn apart

A young man looking old

pushing an empty shopping cart

Then a ghost blue van

hauled us off

no indecision

Threw us in the door

of a last-ditch forensic prison

*

There were hard cold floors, padded walls with windows barred

Dragged us to the morgue, down grim dark halls, my brain was scarred

Sobbing all our tears filled the reaper’s cup

The shroud of years established

hides parts of institutes corrupt

Fire in the shadow’s eyes

And blade of it’s sickle

Dying to get thru

Our fate is always fickle

**

Shackled for days in a big house of the future

Strap on a straight jacket in the fashion that I chose

Tying down pacifists, no one looks to me now

If there’s no cause for fear

Lets just bulldoze

Will present chains come off

If we’re complicit

Or will we weigh down our future

With a heavy dose?

*

Crackling chambers of a charnel house we all face

Where we find a skeleton we won’t always find a ghost

Our souls are independent

We may live forever

I’d like to prove it

Preparing for the post

Will we find complete calm

and consciousness infinite

Harness power for the future?

Excitement, no one knows

**

Smoke rises fast

Proud machines rumble

On shoppers’ gas fumes

Back to my vehicle I tumble

Turn the key to just get home

I have groceries for days

Made sure to put my heavy change

into the globe in the heavy haze

Vapours disappear into cold grey sky

And no Xmas shopping junk

if I don’t need to buy

*

As I’m driving home

with the stereo blasting

I thought of my daydreams

And impact everlasting

Then I heard a song

I’d known all along

And now that I was on

I wouldn’t get the lyrics wrong

It now made sense to me

Really set me free

I thought of friends and family

And visions that should be

*

Rolled into the driveway

Ready for the afternoon

In my truck I rocked out hard

to the rest of the classic tune

When my song was over

Spirit still in my head

Concentrate to remember

Exactly what was said

Walk up gravel and grass

Thought of phantom smoke

Anxious to tell my folks

“Really! It was no joke!”

*

All along the house

Garden still looks pleasant

Yes, it is off-season

Glad that it is present

Folks are not here yet

Only close family coming by

Exciting for our kids

Despite foreboding sky

Optimism can save the day

Turn grey skies to green plants

Helps people play nice

And still make sure to clean hands

*

Now we join around the table

Love has made it when it’s able

We are gathered here together

Mostly on screen or phone

But with the weather

Let’s be clever

And this way

We will never be alone

Those closest to us sitting down

Food we fixed is coming round

With our stories and our grace

We love our dreams and love this place

*

The future’s uncertain and

We influence the outcome

We share our insight for good health

No one should be without some

Follow guidelines and make our own plans

Use common sense and take our own stands

The things we wish for

will work out for the best

If we love ourselves

AND LOVE all the rest

**

Sparkling in the sun

The greenhouse of our fair world

Plants will face reckoning

In this place we should love most

Nurturing living things

Must be priority now

We need to check in

On this precious rose

We must know a champion

Of beautiful humanity

Let us find a future

Where love for life shows

****

Featured post

Share Hope (All together)

Hope

Sunlight

Your voice and words

Splash down and

soothe

I would not be a cloud

hiding

Sun when we want blue

I do like to keep in warmth

Share water for plants to grow

Surprise sprouts

Even for me

Creeps to and from my sky

Impressions become blurred

I want to be perfectly clear

*

Hope

Comfort

Just food and drink

Shelter and

clothes

I would not be too proud

hiding

Love when we have woes

I do like to promote warmth

Share energy with all I do

Surprise strengths

Even for me

Discovering resources

Impressions of a word

I want to be perfectly clear

*

I aim to help

Improve today

Take it any way you like

I hope you have it your way

I think we are

All together

*

Share hope

Find hope

Share hope again

*

I know

We are

All together

*

What’s your plan?

Tell me now

Let’s get on a roll

This is how

Say it loud

We all have one goal

*

Hope

Find hope

Share hope again

*

Hope

Starlight

Your voice and words

Splash down and

soothe

I would not be a cloud

hiding

Light when we want the moon

I do like to keep warmth

Share space for people to grow

Surprise shines

Even for me

Creeps to and from my sky

Impressions of the dark

I want to be perfectly clear

Featured post

Our Own Skull

Slow turning wheels of the distanced brain

Psychosis deeper in those that are sane

Footsteps… Bones are creaking… as the floor board warps

Another dimension I’m going to, when my body’s a corpse

Glowing apparition of a spiritual superstar

Ongoing metamorphosis has gotten us this far

*

Words drip off his tongue like blood from a vial

Says what’s channeled through him, he just wants you to smile

Strangest thing, they once thought he did

Was misunderstood from when he was a kid

If he spoke to the dead or worshipped the grave

They beat him down until he’d rant and rave

*

Earth splits open and spirits bellow out

Zombies from all directions when we have self-doubt

Faces in the rain like mirrors in the dark

The monster he’s become like fire from a spark

Sinister views of stigma

Trouble, a friend of mine

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s Frankenstein

*

Beauty and kind energy, wilder than most

Rise and shine like the sun, one powerful ghost

From torture chambers of the deepest dungeon

A waft of salvation, for a room so pungent

Spirits climb higher to eternal life

Bonds of suffering cut free by the daily bread knife

Thread of spiders’ cut 🕷

*

Sorry, I guess ‘Normal’ has left the building

More than a ghost, a door-mouse, back with a guilt-thing

A full-on rat has crept into my head

Like the one my black cat dropped off in my bed

No tricks just treats from this creepy twit-stalker

I hope you can laugh at our zombie-walk shocker!

*

Witch’s verse was a curse, wove my crush on tombs

Mysterious life kills me fast, like poison mushrooms

Some strains take away sunshine, take me to body bags

To be resurrected, by toothless bearded hags

Then when I died in 1992, all I could say was “I love all of you”

And I still do

*

If we could put all our inner fire in one big pot and stir

I think we’d find an answer and maybe a cure

We all want to be ok inside our own skull

To me we need to reach out in ways that don’t ever get dull

Share music and poetry and honest words spoken

Both daring and caring and let no hearts be broken

*

From an open crypt, I hear the dead’s calm call

Visions and voices come from a handheld crystal ball

Vampire sighs when we see our reflection

October frost on our breath and mystic protection

Werewolves watch over us and creepy clowns cower

Halloween Eve, we break through unholy power

Featured post

True to the Seasons

Seasons change

Shiny familiar faces

Fall away

Not gone

But instead feeding the future

Breaking down and touching the roots of our

Winter days

Ice of

Our feelings

Loss of

Yesterday’s frost

Makes way for calm sleep

To dream in peace

(save the rustling wind)

and

Wake up rejuvenated again

*

Feelings true

Kind and resilient faces

Here anew

Not lost

But rather healing for the future

Breaking thru and touching roots of our

Soul and fate

Haste in

Our feelings

Tests of

The day’s pressure

Gives way to calm deeds

To dream of peace

Get caught up in the wind

and

Soar until we are strong again

*

There is no match for our feelings

Words fail

Empathy strives to catch up

Seasons forever change

Yet understanding grows

Connection

Keeping pace

Compassion

The utmost joy shared together

Or worst suffering

We fight to get hold of

and

Kindly remove hurt like roots of an invasive weed

and shake the dirt free

*

Petals drop

Vibrant pleasant faces

Wash away

At no cost

Freely drifting to the future

Breaking clean yet known in roots of

Timeless days

Easing

Feelings of

Loss of

The inevitable frost

Makes way for memories

To dream for peace

Embrace the refreshing wind

And

Stay true to the changing seasons

Featured post

Isn’t that Enough?

Nothing I can do

Nothing I can say

Can take the pain away

Today

No matter how I try

Even if I cry

Some things I just can’t change

*

Every day we work to make a dollar

Still we don’t make enough

I work hard in every way

So I can fight

for what’s right

Isn’t that enough?

In this life

Today

*

Where’s the peace we all want?

Wrapped up in individual needs?

So much conflict for what we insist is ours

Can’t we get the things we deserve without greed?

Are they locked up in our head?

So much we think we want and need

Why can’t we settle for what’s best?

Life for us

because we’re together

indeed

*

Let’s see that

Let’s talk it out

Let’s change the world

*

Only what I do

Only what I say

Can take the pain away today

It matters how I try

How I make the plans fly

Some things we may have to change

Why should we have to make a dollar?

So long as we work well together

I work hard in every way

And I fight

For what’s right

Isn’t that enough?

Featured post

Fair Play Sky

If baying at the moon

Or playing our best tune

Good spoken word all day

And absolutely every morning

I will embrace the sky

Though people wonder why

And the sky holds me tight

Without scorning

I have done the same

Life surely is a game

Sportsmanship and Ethics are the core thing

Fair play

*

If praying for peace soon

Or playing our best tune

For tokens good all day

And absolutely every weekend

I will embrace the sky

A vision for the eye

And the sky holds me tight

As I am peeking

You have done the same

Life is more than just a game

Peace, good will and comfort we are seeking

*

Fair’s fair

I don’t care

What the cheating kind say

How can you draw blood from a stone

Or make a broke person pay?

Fair’s fair

Be aware

With your riches, think it’s funny

How can you leave millions alone

When you’ve got all that money?

Face the facts top hats

Fair play is the name of the game

*

I’m trying to avoid ruin

By playing my best tune

No joking, that’s my way

absolutely makes my life deep and

I will embrace the sky

Until the day I die

And the sky holds me tight

Without speaking

You have done the same

Taken a break from the game

But kindness and what’s right are never sleeping

Featured post

Everybody Breathe

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is img_2531-2.jpg

*As a note, I’ve been skydiving eleven times and engaged in some amazing cliff jumping, but would never recommend these activities for others. They were thrilling for me and skydiving is so peaceful when your chute is open; The whole world as far as the eye can see becomes vivid and vibrant, at your touch, yet far below. I survived in one piece. This is the song:

I’m falling from the skies

Won’t be criticized

Try to find the truth

And for days we’re hypnotized

*

Everything is what it seems to be

We are what we want and need

Moments are deeper than the sea

*

Underneath we face the day

On the surface be okay

Everybody breathe so peacefully

Everybody breathe

*

I’m hanging from a thread

Not better off dead

Think about tomorrow

And ways to get ahead

*

Be calm, the future’s every day

Let the moment be ok

Everybody breathe as is we’re free :||

*

Everything is what it seems to be

We are what we want and need

Moments are deeper when we’re free

Breathe

*

I’m diving off a cliff

Like a wicked guitar riff

Fighting for our life

And what we can do for it

*

Our life is only here today

Have fun, work hard to be okay

Everybody breathe

Just breathe.

Featured post

Metal Health

IMG_5470 (2)

 

Soft are the petals, bright are the stars

‪Fast is the wind, cooler than cars

‪Earth spins on axles, real and imagined

‪Stars fade in morning, ideas will hatch then

‪Love is like metal, glows like pure gold

‪Chrome shines in sun, glistening yet cold

Hot are the kettles of stories untold

 

Silk of butterfly’s bright neon light

Drifting like dew onto leaves after night

Swift is the sun and hotter than Hell

Fierce as a storm, our stories to tell

Peace is like blue sky or safe in the fold

In town or country, both young and old

Fresh is emotion, Hidden or Bold

 

Subtle the sunset that seals off the day

Visions of dark night well underway

Slow in the moment our anxious thoughts crawl

Strong as an angel, love arrives before all

Into forever, years grasp and hold

Optimism meets light, faith can’t be sold

Respect for our world and life rock & rolled

Featured post

Bright Depth

img_3137

 

Depth to the depth

When shallow I’m hollow

A breath in and out

Time moves and I follow

Then in the West

We call out Apollo

His best must be left

In grooves that we follow

 

Daybreak has all of the plans

At night dreams start all over again

Lighting the way

Everyday

A test to the test

In fire I wallow

 

A splash of wisdom

A dash of defiance

I aim to be close to

Established compliance

I can’t complain

but we do need change

To challenge the system

And set a new stage

 

So today

I buck history

Mine and the world’s

Try to redesign meaning

Of words we’ve unfurled

Bright ideas, dark days

My optimism is pure

Work and believing

 

Confess to the rest

When shallow we’re hollow

A breath in and out

Success proves how to follow

Guessed to be best

The world shouts a loud call-out

The rest must be blessed

In grooves that we follow

 

Daybreak has all of the plans

At night dreams start all over again

At the height of day

I work and pray

Success at the test

In fire I wallow

 

Smoke is rising

Flames are twisting

I waver like a leaf in the heated breeze

No surprise

I’m resisting

To get past pain and find progress beneath

 

Our future is uncertain

and alternates positions

Staying strong in only one:

A stem of

Cool and calm visions

Featured post

The Tension Mounts

IMG_2780 (2)

 

I got raised by the sunshine,

What I complain about

ain’t the same to me anymore,

 

Got cloudy days that must suffice,

What they say is right

might not be the same to me tomorrow,

 

Live today and love the moment

Soak in sunshine as it cures you,

 

Live today and love the moment

Soak in sunshine as it guides you,

 

Then hit the heights as the tension mounts,

The desert days are high and dry,

It may be cold at night

but hot as hell for me tomorrow,

 

The winter rains are cold as ice,

But the fire inside

Will be the same to me forever more,

 

Live today and sense the changes

Feel the pain and then stop the pounding,

 

Live today and sense the changes

Taste the rain as it soaks and bounces,

 

Live today and work for progress

Then hit the heights as the tension mounts,

Make the most of life:

Always

The sun rises,

 

One time to burn

One time to heal

One time to learn

One time to feel

Make your move when it counts

Embrace the moment while the tension mounts

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Pathways

 

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Pathways

 

Ever-present desire to succeed and challenge,

Fragments of time hang on the nervous door hinge,

In the skies there is a fiery orange,

In the brain, in the mood, in the path,

*

Consequential change of the integrated feeling,

Brings a far-fetched mood that sends me reeling,

Enduring trance set by the cosmic dealing,

Just from proof, of a move, in the path,

*

In the rising travel to find what dreams yield,

Synchronicity is uplifting, (a plain thing)

In the vast expanse of this energy field,

The ground is ever-shifting:

*

Shifting shapes in the rain, rising up to the sky,

Misty memory reflects all that you think,

And I think if I fall I will surely:

Dive deeper, into this massive mental landscape,

.*

Border dreams, real as rock,

Where’s the path?

Gridlock,

Shaking heads, shaking thoughts,

Can’t get through gridlock

Gridlock

*

Saturate the idol with a figment of power,

And you will find a fate-changing flower,

Iridescent lights in the sixty-watt shower,

Creating strength, in the groove, in the path,

*

Confirmation of an intriguing notion,

Visions that lure an unreal emotion,

Diligent work spent on devotion,

Such a waste, fail to cross, to a new path,

*

In minute thoughts we process and explore,

Infinite possibilities passing,

With immaculate balance I reach for the door,

But still I find myself grasping:

*

Grasping leaves as I run, as fast as I am free,

Factual forest, reflects all that you think,

And I think if I fall I will surely

Dive deeper, into these firmly grounded beliefs,

*

Waking dreams, real as rock

There’s the path:

Gridlock,

Shaking hands – shake in shock,

Must get through:

Gridlock,

Peace of mind from lucid talk,

Flowing through

Gridlock

Gridlock.

Featured post

Confidence

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Delve deep into the sunrise,

Not far from now the night dies,

Suppressing nothing the mind finds,

And yesterday falls behind,

Stretching out into memories,

Archived for the next day I need,

Or ever more:

The sunshine’s freed,

Delicious day,

Desirable,

Divine,

And only for a few moments it might unwind,

The seconds when I’m uncertain in time,

An anxious moment, and I’m dead in my tracks,

 

Without you, I’m dead in my tracks,

 

Diving down into a frown, I fall all the way down,

Without your light, or dreams at night,

I can’t get around and I’m dead in my tracks,

 

Confidence returns, when I face the facts,

Anxiety fades, and good health comes back,

Peace of mind comes from love of life,

I learn to relax,

 

I breathe through the mountains and their forest trees,

I peer through the skies and feel through the seas,

I clamber through the attic built up in my mind,

And run electrical wire through visions that I find,

Coursing through my brains are my future plans,

In my pounding heart, my love of life sure stands,

Even though I feel humble, I still sweat certain pride,

I buzz with energy, that I can never hide,

 

Somewhat off or simple, this demeanor might seem,

All I really want is human harmony to stream,

If we find fairness in the rivers, instead of social stress,

We can climb the banks, and leave this muddy mess,

Chip away at brilliance, find knowledge on the run,

Rise through the valleys, reach into the sun,

Pull down meaningful faith, and media to trust,

Equality on the earth, and peace that is robust,

 

Voice like a volcano, the internet explodes,

Sometimes my screen glows happily, sometimes woe it bodes,

Silent snow-capped peaks in the dead of summer,

Yet fiery flames spewing, if winter has your number,

Identity comes from how we live and learn,

If our resolution is a rock, it will never burn,

For our hard world to survive, we must pool all our forces,

To protect all good lives, we must fairly share resources,

 

Confidence in peace can get us through each day,

Optimism flows when we climb up all the way,

Get past setbacks, escape the traps we trip,

When we endure, we find the cure, our faith sharp as a whip,

Be true to all we love, forge strength to do what’s right,

Don’t get lost in dreams, past the edge of night,

Got to dig the sunrise, have hope and trust ourselves,

With a confident outlook, our progress deeper delves

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Awareness of Nature

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Awareness of Nature:  Camping in British Columbia – To Get Away

***

Work and stress can give life a frantic feel,

The fever and fret may seem way too real,

I look up to clouds, with my breath falling,

The wind is whistling, weekend-off calling,

Rain burst slants sideways, person’s proud chest sags,

I run above ground, home to pack my bags,

It’s all been planned out – we leave right at five,

We deserve this chance, want to feel alive,

More than a robot, an ordered machine,

This free soul living, a sentient being,

So many days torn, between now and then,

When I get away, won’t get trapped again,

Slowly we pull free from the parking stall,

And we won’t look back, all we need – we haul,

We are on our way, up into the hills,

To camp in the wild, Canadian thrills,

***

Cool cascading falls, rock’s ages shaped sheer,

Trees towering tall, cradle all life here,

Down way far below, on the forest floor,

Miracles abound, a dream scene and much more,

Mossy stumps and ferns, mushrooms hide tree sprites,

Creatures crawl from logs, cold clear creek invites,

Birds sing melodies, both ancient and new,

Grace us for moments, then gone as on cue,

Stunning green playing-field, setting so divine,

True breath of fresh air, no hotel is as fine,

The carpet – softer, on this floor I stand,

This music – sweeter, than a big town band,

Colours dazzle here – more than neon lights,

More intrigue excites, in these forest nights,

My love and I here, cool kids in their tent,

Now our time is free, and the day has been spent,

***

Awake to morning, no alarm to face,

No rushing traffic, no daily rat race,

Rainbows shine in dew, on webs, twigs and grass,

Coffee brewed on flame, of the campfire blasts,

Sitting on camp chairs, no straining muscles,

No aloof boss shouts, while our team hustles,

Instead a squirrel chirps, saying that we’re here,

So we share some nuts, over lunch: pop or beer,

As the day heats up, need not sweat it out,

We head to the lake – good times are about,

Before leaving site, we first douse the fire,

We pack some food tight, guitar to inspire,

The sun follows us, a friend – not a master,

Beneath our feet: mulch, helps us hike faster,

But no rush today, no hypocrite’s whip,

We are far from that, on this camping trip,

***

Climbing through branches, brave greens bless my brow,

Beyond that – sparks gold, lake shining bright now,

Clear to the bottom, aqua shades in glass,

Sand-shores diving deep, mountains sink far past,

Glaciers chiseled time, eons made this place,

This instant is pure, as today keeps pace,

Trees border the lake, hot sun gives this life,

Still: clouds, moon, and stars, fetch glory from strife,

In this fine daytime, greatness comes from love,

All part of nature, some comes from above,

The robin-egg blue, or black with white light,

The feeling we have, can come day or night,

Cool, smooth and flowing, not out on a limb,

We splash down today, get in for a swim,

Floating, paddling, immersed in a dream,

Carried back to camp, by the last sun beam,

***

Final night we pack by crackling fire,

Telling tall stories, as flames twist higher,

An owl reminds us, we are not alone,

Within these late moments, we’ll never go home,

Impression that lasts, we laugh, feast and drink,

Echoing voices, in nature we think,

The crickets and frogs, seem to always know,

Just when we arrive, and when we will go,

Join with their wisdom, their sound mixed with ours,

To keep it simple, here under the stars,

Aware of presence, with no lasting stress,

Just singing again, true needs and no less,

But really we too, feel complex footsteps,

Out in the forest, this reflex is kept,

Sacred harmony, so surely time tells,

True tests of nature, there is nothing else

 

By Mike Scott 09/15

Featured post

Absolute Madness

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Painting by Lee Matuga

 

Absolute Madness (2012)

The earth is quaking, waking – you’re faking passion until you make your next dollar,

Don’t delete the last note written in amassed gold, that must be as pure as the finest icy waters,

Your worth is estimated, the trap is baited – Some time unravels until the next catch is made,

 

You play it so fast – It lasts, with no disregard for the social relevance,

Born hypocrite, slow fits are taking over my persistence in sincere elements,

Can’t stop the battle, it rattles and the echoes could drive you insane,

 

Where you travel never was:

Forgotten in emotion,

You’ve found a new mood, a goal too,

Nothing will ever be the same,

~

There is a good route, its absolute,

It could be like it never was,

Found where you never traveled:

Now you’re lost in emotion,

Nothing will ever be the same,

Or will it?

 

The beast is waiting, baiting, no gate for the equine – you could be on the next course,

Growing your wings fast, you will soon sing past the forgiven time when you had to do all their chores,

The feasting is tasty, in the sky a pastry, there’s absolutely no reason not to sink through the clouds,

 

Wash your plate clean, fate seen – mop the mess you have made with the shirt off your back,

Do not leave a new stain, or be seen in pain, wipe up traces of your ungodly red dirt fast,

You are only mortal, there is the portal – you will feel better if you learn to forget

Or will you?

 

The god is tidy the shore is hiding, underneath the majestic moon way above,

The love has a pride and the mood is riding, you are aware your friends have not yet been late,

If you should ever fall, just recall: it’s the absolute madness that we have all made

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Natural teacher

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Branches of searching cedar reach to me,

Immensely kind, strong gestures of a tree,

Knows all that passes, centuries aware,

Embracing glance, an immovable stare,

Rocky bluff stretches, mountain bobs and weaves,

The coloured ground ripples with roots and leaves,

From mulch fern emerge, symmetric green frills,

Random growth springs free, whatever Earth wills,

Waterfalls shining, with bright sparkling gleams,

Hidden moment below, pool deeply dreams,

Creek joins others, brooks become a river,

Dripping wet creature begins to shiver,

Each season, all year, spirits return here,

Teach reason, not fear, forever lurks near

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Steady

Once more. I wrote this about twenty years ago. It is about the struggle with art and mood. The relevance here is that I am working hard to find ways to improve people’s quality of life. This is the main reason why I started this blog. So far it’s been fun, anxious, and sometimes harsh! I am working on revising a few ideas. Good times!

This poem draws on some very deep feelings and some monumental challenges. The ‘resolution’ is more realistic: find shelter, try to be relaxed, be optimistic, have friends, and be good to yourself. Written around 1992.

Again – the dialectic, the opportunity to share ideas, can help solve a lot of problems: boiling down wild ideas into pragmatic truths. Until we are content and the problems that we challenge are solved – we persevere. Taking time to relax is important. This can be a luxury, but learning to relax in difficult situations can enable a steady balance that can encourage success.

…..

Steady

Thinking about things, outside of this world,

Could have understood it, but now I’m unsure,

Sky’s clouded over – life’s ways become hazy,

Lights fading away, today’s driving me crazy,

…..

Looking up above at a wet grey sky,

So much sadness and I wonder why,

Rain starts coming, down, down, again,

Soaked to the bone, it’s pouring rain,

…..

Thinking so hard, mud slides in torrential rain,

Digging for some answers, dug deadly insane,

I made an advance, I know I made a good impression,

Hardly learning my lesson, they say maybe manic depression,

…..

A cycle of life, a system easy enough to see,

Situation goes to hell, don’t know what to believe,

Thought I had a foothold, but in confusion caught,

Slip-sliding fast, no support for my thoughts,

Slip-sliding too fast…

…..

A thought flashes brightly in the night of my mind,

Together but all alone,

Try to run for cover, in confusion and fear,

Scared senseless by thunder’s fierce tone,

…..

Falling down, help! When will I make it out?

I’m up to my neck in a pool of doubt,

Sinking down, down,

Deep down into despair,

Listen to what I say: it’s not too much to bear,

Too much to think,

Here comes the weight of the world landing on my shoulders:

…..

Split by enlightening,

blistering shock,

nowhere to run and hide, my legs won’t walk,

Like steel rain,

on my brain,

Pain beats ice down on my head,

Wounds still bleeding wounds, already done bled,

….,

Talking bloody blue-sky after the storm we had?

Freezing up cold all hopes that have gone bad,

Frozen…

…..

Thinking about things inside of this world,

May understand, in fact I’m pretty sure,

Blue skies overdue after the storm we had,

People who find shelter, can always be glad,

….,

Looking up above at a bright blue sky,

So many people see it at any time,

Here comes the weather, for another long day,

Exploding with energy, every single last ray,

…..

Thinking slowly, from a different perspective,

It is just within reach, found a new objective,

I made the decision, hell made a good impression,

Finally learned the lesson, I can fight off depression,

…..

So, life beckons, though time again changes,

Not the only one to find so much pain, just,

Work and be taxed, then find a way to relax,

With a stage that can always get better,

…..

Just wait one second, time rearranges,

Not the only one to find life so strange, just,

Relax and find fun, take the long run,

With a change for the better end

In the clouds

In the rain

Or in the sun

Featured post

Ritualization (Soul Occupation)

Can’t see, can’t hear, can’t even think,
There is a form to the madness,
A path from the chaos,
Can’t talk, can’t walk, can’t hold a drink,
There is a flow of the progress,
A jump from the pathos
***
Framed passage to the next level,
Still holding on, Building and grasping,
Chosen item for the next ritual,
Rhythm for life is taking control
***
There is a new birth to the desire,
Want something to move you higher,
Actually finding more and more,
Soul occupation
***
Might try, might push, might even fall,
There is a growth of the presence,
A path and a method,
Might drink, might smoke, might even call,
There is a room for the distance,
A jump to go get it
***
Graded passage to the next level,
Still holding on, Building and grasping,
There’s a catalyst for the next ritual,
Rhythm of life, Take control
***
There is a new stage of the desire,
Want something just to inspire,
Actually finding more and more,
Soul occupation
***
Just learn, just yearn, yah try to take,
There is a class for the madness,
But not for the chaos,
Just work, just stretch, but just don’t break,
There’s payment for the time spent,
But not for the anxious
***
Hard labour for the next promotion,
Still holding on, building and gasping,
You’re the subject of the next ritual,
Rhythm of life, Takes control
***
There is satisfaction of the desire,
Everyday something to inspire,
Forever more,
Soul occupation
Featured post

Do we make it? (Daily Quest)

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Do we make it?

Let’s face it,

Life changes all the time,

Chasing the dream, growing the treasure,

Are they going to take away all of our pleasure?

 

Just for a day, follow the concrete,

Surely going to claw back until we are complete,

The sidewalk, the curb,

The road with no freedom,

All it is there for, is to channel our need of:

 

Forward progression,

Look ahead:

I’ve got a compass that is chipped in one place,

It keeps on spinning, and I can still read the face,

Something magnetic about the dreams that we chase,

First we find the map, now we run the maze,

 

Finding out life is easy,

Remember what you need,

Now, it doesn’t seem so easy,

Unravel time’s travel as you gradually succeed,

 

Do you hate me?

Push through it – I have loved you all the time,

Finding the moment, fix the reception,

So it can be seen in its true complexion,

 

Just to be alright now, create a new pathway,

Then come back later, much before the last day,

Of the week, the month,

The year with no ending,

Can the vision be realized without comprehending?

 

Forward progression,

I’ve got a thought about changing this place,

But, it’s not going to matter, if I can’t make a case,

Abstract solution, to help win this race,

Putting words into action, in an empty space,

(in a peaceful place, in our mind)

 

Finding out life is easy,

Predict just what you’ll need,

Now, it doesn’t seem so easy,

Envision time’s precision as you gradually succeed

 

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The Mind’s Back Door

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You won’t know what you’ve got until you get inside,

No, you won’t know a thing until you’ve been and tried,

Wake up into our eternal home,

We’re on our own, but not alone,

 

You won’t know what you’ve got until you get inside,

No, you won’t know a thing until you’ve been and tried,

Wake up into the great unknown,

Thoughts are the wealth, found all alone,

 

Eyes looking at me like they know something,

Looking at me with some kind of offering,

Wise and kind guide may take your hand,

Present a solution, save all of this land,

 

Conceive it, if you can,

Believe in, a master plan,

Conceive it, it has all been planned,

Understand,

 

Look to the skies above, the clouds are boiling,

If God’s looking down, why are we still toiling?

Wake up into our eternal home,

Into this place we all are thrown,

 

The fair earth is below and the weather’s rising,

We need rest, it is so compromising,

Walking through thoughts made of stone,

The energy within us, seldom shown,

 

You’re looking at me as if I’m insane,

You can’t be right, and I can’t explain,

Try hard, real hard, to figure things out,

Feelings bottle up, think away doubt,

(A little spirit)

 

What are you looking for?

Find it right outside your mind’s back door,

 

What are you looking for?

Find it right outside my mind’s back door,

 

The fair earth is below, media hypnotizing,

We crave the sun, it’s not surprising,

Walking through thought, we must atone,

The energy within us waits to be shown . . .

Follow inside into insight

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Intermittent Intimate

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Some might say, ‘opposites attract’.  In today’s world social situations can be very diverse and people can be brought together for a vast number of reasons.  People meet through random encounters, through work, school, on-line or many other types of association.

The following poem seems to be fairly self-explanatory to me.  I think it may reflect a very common relationship in modern society.  I would strive for more consistency, and it may be difficult to exist like this, but I think it is pretty normal.  I think that if love is found, perseverance is favourable.  It is also important to have awareness of when a relationship becomes too hard to handle, and if it is having a negative impact on you.  If you are living with negativity, this may arise from a lack of understanding, a backlash of your own behaviour, or also from the significant other’s behaviour. It is important to stand up for your health. If your health is being threatened – it may be necessary to challenge the status quo; Recognize the needs of others, but also assert your own needs.

Relationships can be very complex.  It would seem that love needs to be fiercely nurtured to promote health in a long-term relationship.  Open channels of communication, awareness of each other’s needs and willingness to compromise can be a good set of tools to work with.  When making decisions, I try to do this in a calm mood and always use reason – even when emotion also plays a role (or especially when emotion plays a role).   If we try to see the net outcome of continuing a relationship, and see more benefits than costs, both emotionally and in terms of the health of all individuals affected by the relationship:  Perseverance is the best thing.  Sometimes we do have to look out for number one, but I also try to take all others into account when making decisions – within reason.

The Pace (Intermittent Intimate)

 

It’s raining today, but it’s kind of intermittent,

While yesterday’s massive storm left me drenched,

Even the calm does not refresh,

After the moments of stress,

You were twisting your words like a wrench,

 

Sticking in my head, where you have thrown them,

Where they have gone and still wait,

In my heart, you could total,

Where they have gone and soon fade

A ballot cast by the voter,

Rumbling low like a motor,

 

There’s a pain in my head, but it’s kind of intermittent,

While yesterday’s massive thirst has been quenched,

Now the peace is not quiet,

But like an internal riot,

I am twisting around in this trench,

 

You do not know, that you have carved it,

Where I’ve gone and still twist,

And I am still starving,

But the inner strengths never missed,

Just sometimes a target,

(really, just hardly?)

 

Roll with it,

Intimate,

Roll with it,

Always keep up with the pace,

 

It’s just another night, and the calm is intermittent,

Once in a while there is a good time to play,

It seems the calm can be refreshed,

And we can leave the daily mess,

A new mood comes around like sun rays,

 

Falling on our skin,

Where it is felt the most,

Where they are warm, but may burn,

In the world that we chose,

Where they are warm and we learn,

And we are getting so close –  love gently flows,

 

Roll with it, intimate,

Intermittent Intimate,

Intimate, stick with it… Intermittent Intimate

Premonition Now

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Painting: Lee Matuga

 

This is a poem about optimism.  I believe that optimism can contribute to success.  In psychology we learned about a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’.  Doesn’t it seem like a good idea to be optimistic when these occur?

I have found that certain things can encourage optimism, such as: sunshine, looking up to the stars on a clear night and/or sitting by the waterside, like a river, lake or ocean. A connection with nature often helps calm the nerves and even promotes optimism.  If that time is endangered: this can be fuel to challenge troubles.

Some people are hardwired to have the desire to persevere and maintain or regain optimism. Even a walk in the park, a glimpse of the mountains, or gazing at the sky can help one gain strength by proving that nature will persevere…  Well then: So can I.

I think anytime is a good time to be optimistic. I am not saying that I always have unquestionable optimism, but I always strive for it.

…..

Premonition Now – Positively Change

When the season guides all life’s dealing,

There will never be uncertain feelings,

But the recent changes in the weather,

Finds it lighter at the time of day and…

 

Another passage, you are thinking of it,

There is not a second you can ever doubt it,

You have changed – they are changing too, so,

Just about the time you make your move, no:

 

Disconcerting feelings,

Pondering unreal things,

Wishing it would finally happen:

Know that it is always

Sparkling in the water,

 

Jumping in, diving in,

Knowing only the stream as we are flowing,

Cold and moving, strong and proving,

There is always change,

 

When the timing’s pushing on your healing,

It might tend to send you through the ceiling,

And the recent changes from the mood swing,

Makes it harder, as if we can’t be choosing,

 

Every moment you are thinking of it,

There is not a minute you can ever doubt it,

They must change while you are changing too, so,

Just about the time you break on through, know:

 

A little ray of sunshine makes you happier than

The cloudy crowd that’s all around,

and dull and dim and on the ground,

Days fallen over your shoulder made you feel so sky-high,

Chance you couldn’t get hold of, made you feel like nighttime.

 

When the climate’s right upon your feeling,

It would even seem like you are stealing,

But the truth is: you are now the real thing,

Just like when you accidentally motioned:

 

Provision for good feelings,

Envisioning new real things,

Wishing success is happening:

Know that it is always

Sparkling in the water,

 

Jumping in, diving in,

Knowing only the stream as we are flowing,

Cold and moving, a song that’s soothing,

There is positively change,

 

A little ray of starlight makes you happier than

The darkened space that’s all around,

and full and real and the only sound,

One fallen over your shoulder made you feel so sky high,

One that you got a hold of, makes now the right time,

 

Jumping in, strive to win, following the river that is flowing,

Cold and moving, strong and proving,

There is positively change

 

Featured post

Days

I want to emphasize a point in maintaining optimism and not falling into despair. Part of this is about learning to harness the power of the future, and of possible future joy. As I mentioned, joy may be extremely rare, coming up – once in a blue moon… but this is all in perspective. Joy can be as simple as a conversation with a friend or a feeling of peace in art or beauty. It is often necessary to endure situations until we get to the next contented moment, and find that next joy. In some cases mindfulness may be best set on the future, with reminders from the past of what is good, and what we can expect. I pray that we all have something, however simple and temporary that we can look forward to: a drink to quench our thirst, a vision to behold, or the conversation of a friend or family to look forward to. Even our own creativity and thought can help keep us find content. It is important to persevere till we get to that moment. Enjoy the present, but if that is not possible, there is still something ahead that makes endurance worth waiting for.

The following poem was written in the mid to late nineties. My recent conversation brings me back to it.

Days

Got to choose your next move,
Got to do what you think
Is really going to make a difference,
In your little world,

Plush carpets and amber lights,
A ride that’s free in many ways,
Cushions on a couch save me,
Living hell for many days,
Long days,
How did I pass my time today,

Hard cold floors and bright lights,
My mind is cool most always.
Patterns on the walls they change,
In never-ending hallways,
Fall days,
How can I pass my time this way?
Anyways,

I’m climbing through. I’m climbing out,
It’s only me, just with everything else,
My soul within everything else,

Got to groove as you proceed,
Got to do what you think
Is really going to take you all the way,
To the next contented moment,

Tight with my fretful friend,
Fingers dance on steel to play,
Notes will tell the mood of life,
Come back for another day,
Any day,
How can we pass our time today?

Sitting on groves of green grass,
Trying to cure the grey day,
My blood thirst for red wine,
Just to pass the night away,
Far away,
How did I pass my time today?

Climbing free, climbing out,
It’s just me, with everyone else,
We’re so close to climbing out,
It is only work, forget everything else,
The soul without everything else,

Change of pace and growing old,
Forget about the distant days,
Still need to understand the soul,
And have something good to say,
Every day,
How did you pass your time today?

Finally free, finally out,
The soul is one and everything else,

Finally free, finally out,
The soul is one just with everything else!

***

The conclusion is a bit finite, but I really feel that it is whole. You need to have something good to say about every day: My couch was comfortable, patterns on the wall were interesting, and in my case, I played guitar. I recommend hobbies and mindfulness in simple pleasure that one can draw on in times when it is difficult to easily endure. It is important to be aware of potential joy as we are experiencing it. It is also necessary in times of stress, as a means of coping: to remember that there are always other moments to look forward to, sometimes just by looking inside.

Phantom Birds of Prey

***

Join the phantom

For seconds

Caught in our tracks

Anoint the shy moon

That flickers

Wake up

sleeping facts

Both Mystic and Mundane

See the

Distant morning glow

Promises blue

Then escapes

Taking all that we know

Magic wanes

Curves out of sight

Cloudy moment

Takes

The last Dream of night 

*

Join birds of prey

High above

Sailing over the day

Rise to the hunting sun

That hovers

Saves us

Diving for prey

Both Nurturing and Vital

Seize the

Blue forever

Gives us every

Last minute

Then takes all hours together

Magic stays

On fire through time

Perfect sphere

Carves

All corners of our Mind

*

Join the phantom?

Bird of prey?

Stay true to the dream

At the points of our talons

Take the pain away

Everyday

With immaculate balance

*

Join the phantom

Birds of prey

We are all

Living the dream

Rise to the challenge

Work hard and pay

Everyday

Gaping mouths at our talons

*

Join the calm dream

Taking over

Peace of mind begins

The choice to persevere

Pervading

Discover strengths within

Both Physical and Mental

See the flame inside as pure

Promises true

And Profound

The moment is

Now for sure

Magic stays

As the candle burns

Lights up all our dreams

and all Life’s

Twists and Turns

*

Join the phantom

Birds of prey

We should all

Dare to dream

Spot truth in just one glance 

For wishes to stay

Everyday

Sun and moon keep our balance

+

Join the phantom

Birds of prey

Flying high

Above the Earth

Imagine days as dreams enhance

Like words we say

Everyday

With vision we find balance

***

A Story of Stigma

My Story

By Mike Scott 

Hi!  My name is Mike.  I am a support worker for people with diverse needs.  I also support my four children.  Three of my kids have special needs in mental health.  They need help coping with anxiety conditions, including panic attacks, bipolar disorder, which is a mood disorder and other challenges.  I personally have overcome bipolar disorder myself to have many successes in life.

I am an artist.  I write poetry, philosophy and music.  I enjoy photography and cinema, going to the movies, or staying home to watch a movie.  I have always had a strong athletic interest too and I still take part in hiking, camping, swimming and sports with my family.

I knew I was different even back in elementary school.  I was both creative and spiritual, with an edge.  In grade five I took an interest in guitar class and soon got my own guitar.  My parents loved Rock and Roll, Motown music and even Disco.  I learned to love it all too.

I loved writing.  In grade six I wrote a twenty-page love letter to a girl that I really liked and mailed it to her when she was on holidays across Canada for spring break.   That was not that well-received…   I also wrote a fifteen-page science-fiction story for grade seven Language Arts class.  That was appreciated much more.  By grade eight, I had an electric guitar and became much more interested in Hard Rock.  I grew out long hair and wore jeans and leather jackets.  I started drinking alcohol.  This got me in trouble.  I had run-ins with the police and did some stupid things, like making myself really, really ill.

As a student I had close to straight A’s right through grade twelve, and into my second semester at University.  That is when I began to lose focus and pay more attention to partying and experimenting with drugs.  That is when I began to have very serious episodes in bipolar disorder that could have killed me or others.  I had a problem with driving fast and had many car accidents.  That was definitely my dangerous side. I have learned my lesson. Safe-driving saves lots of money, prevents injury, pain and potentially loss of life. I also avoid driving if I am feeling emotional or detached, or in a mood.

I was deep in mood, emotion and concscious thought at many times in those years. Because I wasn’t getting help with this, and hadn’t figured out my moods for myself, it wasn’t always easy, or even possible for me to slow down.    I believed in mind over matter and was fearless with that.  I have done a lot of cliff-diving, into water and I also jumped out of a perfectly good airplane from up to four thousand feet, eleven times.  That was partly in an effort to become a licensed instructor and get free jumps!  

I put myself into a lot of rough places with my expressive behaviour and fearless nature, situations where I was lucky to make it out without more damage.  I was rather “out there”, and not aware of some expected boundaries for my enthusiasm and loud nature at times.  Many people didn’t know how to react.  Many still don’t.

People started to treat me like trouble and assumed that I was a bad student, up to no-good.  That was not all true.  I still aimed to be kind and promote wellness.  I still got straight A’s. Often stigma got the best of me.

Stigma is the negative view that a person or group of people have of another person or themselves.  Stigma is often misinformed and based on assumptions.  Stereotypes are judgements of people based on beliefs of how a certain type of other people behave.  For example, some might think that all people with a diagnosis in mental health like bipolar disorder, are always ill, or dangerous, or unreliable.  This belief may arise because the negative view is popular in some parts of the media or because some people that live with the condition have shown these characteristics in a major way, like in the news, that people remember. 

The idea of a stereotype can transfer negative views onto a person with a belief about them that is inaccurate and based on misinformation, such as those popular views that are mistakenly promoted in some media portrayals.  Stereotypes lump someone into a category, where they are believed to share the same characteristics of everyone else in that category.  This is wrong.  We are all different. We need to consider people’s personality and try to share empathy.  Try to understand their position, human to human, not letting stigma or judgmental guesses creep in.

People living with a diagnosis such as bipolar disorder can become ill in certain situations, but that can often be prevented by proper attention to healthy living.  A person with bipolar disorder might be extremely talented at music or science, and not dangerous or unreliable at all.  

Stigma often develops into discrimination based on stereotypes, rumours and by not looking past the surface of a person or situation.  Discrimination can hurt people by depriving them of respect, personal needs and by excluding them when they deserve to be included.

Because of the clothes that I was wearing, attitude and my long hair, some groups of people disrespected me, especially by not giving me time to share my views, when other people did receive that opportunity.  People, including professionals should have known better.  We are all people, and we all deserve respect.  Every one of us.

Truthfully, I was judged almost by my own choice with a stigma. I was getting in trouble.  My friends were getting in trouble.  In some ways I chose to be known as trouble even though I really wasn’t…. Well at least: not to begin with.

I was never mean, but I could have cost lives or lost my own life more than once.  While difficulties in focus landed me in motor vehicle accidents, street drugs caused me to get in other dangerous situations.  On one occasion when I tried a harder drug, I ended up smashing a guitar over a drum-set at a party and wound up in hospital with my reputation permanently damaged.  I am flat out lucky to be alive.  I stay away from hard drugs.

Meanwhile, the stigma from those episodes has had a lasting dramatic effect, even to today, over twenty-five years later.  I have persevered and overcome obstacles.

I achieved my psychology major in my bachelor’s from Simon Fraser University in 1997.  I completed my degree while I was fighting off dangerous manic episodes and hospitalizations.  It was the worst time for my illness.  I still learned a lot from my school, but I made sure to also learn a lot from my experience. Because of my illness my grades in finishing my degree were not seen as excellent at the time.  My first job with my degree was bagging groceries and collecting shopping carts at a grocery store.

In 2000, I got married and started a family.  I have not had a severe struggle with bipolar disorder since my last clinical episode in 2001.  My battle has been more about the stigma since then.

 In order to support my wife and baby, I started my electrical apprenticeship within the first few months out of hospital.  My recovery included five years of hard, dirty, and dangerous work in construction.  I became a licensed Red Seal electrician by 2007.  I soon became a successful foreman in charge of projects and crews of workers.

In this time, I also began coaching my sons in baseball and soccer.  We won nine championships.  I also have helped my two stepdaughters with school and at home over the last seven years.  The youngest kids are still in grade school, grades seven and twelve.  Many members of our family have struggled with mental health concerns.

My oldest son, my two stepdaughters and myself have conditions that require special attention and treatment according to medical and educational professionals.  Some of us require medication or special help from doctors, teachers, and caregivers, to take care of ourselves best.

We also have challenges in social interactions that can be caused by how we express ourselves and how we behave differently sometimes.  These challenges often come from the environment and social networks too.  Others perceive us based on their experience with us, but also based on what others say, and based on stigma and stereotypes that come with our differences and diagnoses.  

It is hard to know how to act sometimes.

Again, I will emphasize, this stigma still hurts me today, after I have been healthy for twenty years, just because of mistakes that I made back then, that are still connected to my diagnosis, behaviour and how others view me today.

Once I had made a few mistakes, it was hard to get away from them.   In some cases, it was too late.  I had lost credibility, even in the fight for justice.  Some friends eventually just ghosted me, as if it was my fault and left me stuck in problems that stigma had caused.  The part that was my fault was the over-indulgence in drugs and alcohol.

The social implications of substance abuse can be so awful, like losing many friends or hurting people or dying.  With the lethal street drugs today, there is no way that I would ever take that risk.

For me, the stigma of mental illness was largely tied to the episodes that I had.  My behaviour outside of the episodes, to some people, seems to confirm stigmatizing views.  My personality can often be completely misjudged.  Once people have a stereotype in their head, it can be hard to shake it.  We need patience, effort and mutual respect to overcome stigma.

Even then, time constraints can still be an issue.  People have treated me as this stereotyped version of a troublemaker, according to stigma.  Sometimes, in the real world, we just don’t get the chance to explain ourselves and dispel stigma, if we don’t get the right time and place.  That’s why, in my opinion we always need to have an ear open for others and try to be willing to discuss mental health with others.

Sometimes my attitude was a problem.  It was like I was “too cool” or too full of pride, to associate with a teacher or someone that wasn’t in my group, even if they offered help. Sometimes I was just scared or embarrassed.  This is how I closed myself off from help, including from friends.

After the 1990’s, the strategies that I learned for mental health and to battle stigma, have worked for me.  They have got me through with a happy home and great potential for the future. For stigma especially, I think we need to try to speak our mind when we get the chance, but not always push it if we don’t think it’s the right place, audience or if we don’t have enough time.

We need to be confident in communications but also patient and kind.  Some people still won’t get it.  We have to be accepting; remain patient and forgiving of others, and ourselves.

I continue to be involved in research on mental health after publishing a project as a co-author in 2016 with the University of British Columbia in the Department of Psychiatry.  I have just become a part of the Family Research Advisory Panel with the UBC Faculty of Medicine.

Having personally lived with a mental health diagnosis for close to thirty years, I truly appreciate the chance to understand and contribute to research and studies in academics and healthcare, especially how that relates to children, youth and families.

I am currently a support worker.  I work with kids who need extra help in elementary schools.  I have also worked with youth and adults with developmental disabilities and mental illness.

I retired as an electrician and construction worker, mainly due to physical injury and finding opportunity in mental health research and support work.

Don’t let stigma get you down.  Life is hard sometimes.  That is a fact of life.  Stories and kindness help.  Empathy and optimism help.

Make good friends.  My wife has been one of my best friends since the early 1990’s because we talk with honesty, care and humour.

For mental health, I always aim to maintain physical health by getting enough exercise, getting enough sleep, and having a nutritious diet.  If I need help, I get in touch with healthcare and I always follow through with prescriptions.

When I suffered the worst from my mood disorder, the strategy of calming myself became so important.  Deep breathing and self-reassuring words have been most valuable in helping me to ground myself in stressful or surreal times.

In my study with UBC, the focus on maintaining “Hope” was identified as a key to mental health.  I build my own hope with optimism.  I learn to adapt by knowing that things will always work out, one way or another.  Efforts in optimism help me to get past moods that could otherwise be awful or terrifying.

I set my hopes high to include everyone.  If I show empathy for others to try to understand their feelings, it seems more likely that they will show empathy for me.

Empathy is our ability and the work we do to understand how other people feel.  We work with others best if we understand their needs.  Some of us just hope for a cup of water, a meal, clothes, shelter and a bed.

Others are fortunate to hope for some other cool things, like electronics or even vacations and cars.  We may want more friends or more time with our friends. Sometimes to get through stigma and illness it just takes people from our social network to show empathy and engage on our needs.

We can always find hope. I make that clear to myself. I don’t ever let myself deny it.  When I am feeling not well or if I am feeling stressed out, I look to what I am doing today.  I look to find some moment of enjoyment or progress.  I look to helpful memories and even just to feel glad when I can have thoughts to myself to think about things.  I also look forward to success in tomorrow, whether that is a high score, a good grade or just some comfort and fun.

For the benefit of everyone I aim to maintain Respect and Empathy for other people and their goals.  In my life, for mental health and for my goals, I aim to be Calm and Optimistic.

Peace of Mind All the Way

***

All the way

Is not going very far

Jump through time and space

Doubt grows

black like tar

Take the next peace of mind

To a distant star

*

All of these things ricochet in my head

Life like a film

Dynamic and moving

We don’t get a day-off

until we’re dead

My schedule is thrilling

Planned to be soothing

*

It’s your hidden attention that I seek

Fluttering like reality

In and out of existence

Yesterday has thoughts

yet I couldn’t speak

Our dreams shape the future

And things we insist on

*

All the way

Keep raising the bar

Jump into my brain

Break the money jar

Work for more peace of mind

Each one of us a star

*

For peace of mind

Find a Sure thing

Lighting up the sky

Racing and turning

Stay grounded

Hope up high

*

All the way

Is not going very far

Jump another plane

Race in a fast car

Take the next peace of mind to a distant star

Take the next peace of mind to your own shining star

Not going very far

So far

***

Love that Stays

**

It’s a Bright day
All the way
Free as
the cloud’s grey
Take it out
Without doubt
I make my way into the atmosphere
*
When I close my eyes
The more that I think
The more I sink
Into my clear
Love of life
*
Let’s turn it into a great day
All the way
Free as
Love that stays
All the way
*
It’s a Bright day
All the way
Free as
kids play and
Work it out
Without doubt
Fun can pave the way
when the sky is clear
*
As I calmly focus
The more I feel
The more I heal
The less I fear
Love of life
*
Let’s turn it into a great day
All the way
As Free as
Love that stays
All the way
*
We’ve got the right-away
Fear is left behind
Love as clear as day
Peace is on our mind

We want equality
That we can fully measure
We all want and need
Our own fair share of pleasure


We should all be free
To savour life and have no greed
No hoarding of resources
By the most arrogant of forces
*

Its a Bright day
All the way
Sun free-falling
Like words I say
Let’s get out
Without doubt
We make our way into the atmosphere
*
Behind my eyes
The more I think
The more I sink
Into a sheer
Love of life
*
Lets turn it into a Great day
All the way
As Free as
Love that stays
All the way

***

Risk a Little Love

Risk a little Love

It may become a whole lot more

Not breaking any laws

Just opening a door

*

The welcome is outstanding

Sending caring vibes

With no need for jealous jibes

Our love is in the skies

*

We have the tools we need

to Fix life up right

Launch a healthy dynamo

Wherever we go

Savour tomorrow’s light

*

Risk image for Wellness

Find feelings for Health

Open our eyes to Ways

To share excess and Wealth

*

Risk a little Love

It may become a whole lot more

Stop breaking other’s hearts

Just open up our core

*

The welcome is outstanding

Sharing caring vibes

No need for Discriminating jibes

Our love is in the skies

*

We have resources we need

to Fix life for many

Launch a healthy dynamo

With all that we know

For tomorrow there is plenty

*

Risk a little Love

It may become a whole lot more

Not breaking any jaws

Saying what we think life is for

*

Risk a little Love

It may become a whole lot more

Not breaking any laws

By opening the floor

*

Freedom of expression

Risk a little love